Building a Bridge to Corneria: We are gonna build that bridge now. Hey, it's time to build that bridge. Bridges are cool and they're really great! Let's build bridges for everyone. Bridges lift us over water. Helping us go from land to land. Keeping us dry; that is what good bridges do. Keep our socks from getting wet. A Flail Most Epic: I'm MYSELF And I've always been My COMMAND Makes the end begin Every life Is caught up in my dream Floating in the ocean of LIFESTREAM +++ I'm ALONE And I've always been I've been led To a life of SIN I am GLAD I get to have my fun I'm not sad For I'm the CHOSEN one + + + + + + + HALT For you aren't the only one Nor Were you chosen just for fun Forget how you feel + I can't see who is talking Show yourself to me Right now Or get ready for a big beat down Those are some big words from the lips of a mama's boy My long.lost son, you bring Me such joy Who are you to me + Halt Everything Youre telling me You couldn't be her, could You Be? You're not even real + + + + + + + Where were You When I felt alone Why drop me In an empty home You've made me Turn to a life of sin Just to feel Emotions deep within + + + I'm with you And I've always been Had you called I'd have rushed right in When, in fact I'd often call for you You'd hang up Stop freaking out, it's true + + + I don't know what You have in store I so wish that I could trust You more You can see Into my very soul You should Be The One Who has control CALL When you feel a bit alone I Never use an answerphone How will you atone? To the Moon (80s Power Ballad): Verse 1: I waddle alone here My heart in the vault You've left me wounded But it's my own fault We were happy together In the pond of life We lived off bread crumbs And we never knew strife Prechorus 1: But when the fortunes started rolling in You said Scrooge you're not the duck you were But I know I can get you back again Chorus : Let me quack for you With my heart laid bare We're like two eggs in a nest Such a lovely pair And I will love you better Than any swan or goose or loon So come with me, I'll take you to the moon Verse 2: We both said some things we didn't mean What's the use of keeping track I'll just let it go Like water off my back Chorus: Let me quack for you With my heart laid bare We're like two eggs in a nest Such a lovely pair And I will love you better Than any swan or goose or loon So come with me, I'll take you to the moon Outro: After all that we've been through Never meant to be so cold I just wanna see you smile You can keep all of my gold It means nothing anymore All I need is you So let's fly to the moon Fly to the moon... Take you higher... BIKE KID: The Musical: -- NARRATOR-- In the year 20XX, war was beginning. A dark overlord known as The Suit rules the Minnesota Territory with an iron fist, with an army of Viking Bikers to enforce his will. In the M.N. Bank Stadium, a crowd is gathered. Fists raise and the mob shouts to the sky. Around the faded remains of the 50-yard- line, a ring of Vikings rev their engines and circles the last hope of the people of Minnesota. He is our hero. On a steel horse he rides. He's want-- no. That's Tommy. He used to work on the docks. This is OUR HERO, The Bike Kid. -- BK-- Hi! I'm Bike Kid. This is kind of a messy situation I'm in here, and you probably want to know how I got here. Or not. But this is my story, so I gotta tell you, right? Anyway, It's like this - I wasn't ALWAYS the Bike Kid. This story goes waaay back to when I was just a regular teenager, trying to make a dime and get everyone's newspapers delivered on time. And in Minneapolis, we know something about The TIME (OH WEE OH WE OH). -- BK and Todd-- Mr. Stevens - here's your paper Mrs. Thompson - here's one for you. Everybody - on my paper route gets those stock quotes - and the funnies, too doesn't matter - if it's rainin' me and my crew - got a job to do We're paperboys and papergirls Paperboys oh wee oh wee oh! Me and my pal - his name's Todd, ya know race each other - even in the snow day in, day out - practice the route finding shortcuts - no one knows about jumping fences - dodging angry dogs makes us even - better at our jobs 'cause we're best buds - nothing slows us down me and Todd we're - gonna run this town we're paperboys and papergirls paperboys oh wee oh wee oh! doesn't matter - we're from different worlds when we're riding - everyone's the same I'm just a poor boy - Todd's got money don't make no difference - in the paper game I - have been tossing you I think I wanna throw ya (throw ya) I said I – I got new to spread Girl I’m gonna show ya Newspaper Love I think I wanna throw ya I said newspaper love I think I’m gonna throw ya Haha, you know delivering newspapers is a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it! A big race came to town with a grand prize big enough - I'd win and go to school get a good job and stuff - I could learn a useful trade do more than ride a bike - Major in technology maybe minor in art or psych - But Todd wanted to be best and so he entered the race - Before I'd get that prize He'd make me beat his pace - He didn't need that money just wanted... hey, woah! What's wrong with my bike!?!?! WAAAAAH - -- BK-- So that was that. Todd went off to business school. And I did the only thing I could. I traded in my ten speed for something a little more... exciting. -- Narrator-- So our intrepid hero spent the next few years straightening the curves and flattening the hills. Beats all you ever saw - No. Sorry. I did it again. That was those Duke Boys. Anyway, this is where you'd expect a training montage switching between scenes of The Kid racing motorcycles and Todd studying for his MBA, but we have NO IDEA how to convey that without video, so instead, here's 8 bars of Vince DiCola's training montage from Rocky IV. -- BK-- paaaaaper boys that's what we were but noooooow I'm riding 'cause it's all I know I stiiiiil remember how we feeeeelt soo free what happened to you and me -Narrator- This just in! During that montage, the world around our hero did NOT stand still! Things were HAPPENING in Minnesota. And not just regular things like people coming to visit the biggest ball of twine. A mysterious figure called The Suit had appeared on the political scene and rose to power in record time with promises of bringing Vikings back to the north. At first people just thought he was crazy. But then the Viking jobs really did start appearing. The Minneapolis Craigslist was chock full of listings for raiding parties. Next thing you knew, anyone who could drive or ride a motorcycle while swinging a sword or an axe had guaranteed work pillaging and looting neighboring towns. And it turns out... Vikings vote. So the next thing we knew, a guy who literally called himself "The Suit" and ran on a platform of enslaving most of the population was voted in as Governor. Who could save Minnesota? (THE BIKE KID) But who is the Bike Kid? (IT IS IN THE NEXT SONG) -BK- Now, I never kept up much with politics. But when The Suit's Vikings started turning up at races, I had to take notice. Mostly because it's hard to ignore it when the other racers have axes. Well, I kept winning anyway. It was around then people started calling me Bike Kid. I spent what should've been my senior year of college outriding one crisis after another, until... theeese stuuupid vikings make these raaces  more dangerous than they'd usually be  maybe Iiiiiii should get a sword whyyyyyy aare they af ter me oh Iiiiii'm just a bike racer why's this crowd soo pumped  and who aaaare they shouting for. who's. bike. kid. aaaaaanyway now I have to riiiiiiide like the wind to get a- waaaaaaay so I'll win this race hey wait is it meeee they're cheering am I the one theeey call "bike kid" I guess that I aaaaaam so what do I do now that they think that   am a hero oooooh yeeeeah Iiiii'm the bike kid and I'll fiiiiight the vikings you caaan count on bike kid -- BIG UGLY VIKING-- So you're the one called "Bike Kid" Well I'm here to stop you! -BK- Oh, man. that is - that is one big ugly Viking uh, is this? Is this a BOSS FIGHT? I don't have time for a boss fight! I have race to win! Uh let's see.. uh.. OIL SLICK! -BK- WOW! That... that WORKED!   Um, OK... uh... WHO SENT YOU!?!?!?! -Viking- och ick ahhhrrrgh... Todd. -- BK-- I was crushed. I hadn't heard from Todd since the day of the big race. I always sort of knew he was the one who’d sabotaged my bike, but I never would’ve thought it would come to this. Why was he sending Vikings after me? How did he even HAVE vikings to send?  I'd heard that after he graduated, he'd taken a job working for The Suit. Maybe he was in even deeper than I thought… I felt like I’d been hit by a truck. All of a sudden, biking seemed a lot less exciting. I knew I had to do something.I had to go and confront him. -- Narrator-- So our hero set out on a road trip to Suit Suites at the old Stadium. Too devastated to even look at a bike, he packed up his car and drove. -- BK-- Oh yeah. I’d been riding bikes so long, I forgot I never actually learned how to drive. Once I got to the old stadium, it took about four seconds before I was surrounded by biker vikings and... "politely escorted" to the field, where I was, again, surrounded by vikings. At least they didn't take my bike. I revved my engine. They revved back. And then a figure appeared at the end of the field. He was riding a shining black kawasaki, dressed in business casual khakis and a navy shirt, with a blood red power tie. I barely recognized him, but it was Todd.   -- TODD-- Bike Kid! I see you got my message! To complete my transformation, only one thing remains. I must crush you beneath my italian loafers and only then can I cast off the remains of my oldest friendship and put on my suit -- BK-- Todd I don't want to fight you but if I have to I guess I will so let's end this with a race like in the old days -- Todd-- you have beaten me my old friend Bike Kid freed me from my curse -- BK-- You mean you were brainwashed this whole time? Really wish you would have told me that. -- Todd- Sorry other things were on my mind like not getting myself killed -- BK-- Oh well then let's go fight some vikings and then we'll take out your boss -- Todd-- Yes, let's fight these vikings and then go kill my boss -- Narrator-- The Suit's gone and his vikings they're all unemployed 'cause Bike Kid and Todd have freed Minnesota from them -- BK-- So yeah, that's it. That's my story, how I became the Bike Kid. I started as a paperboy, and lost my best friend. And then got him back again, and we battled a comic book supervillain. I guess all that's left now is to play some dramatic music and roll the credits, right? Damn, nice Taikos. Can we get a choir? Yeaah, that's nice. But you know what this story REALLY needs? Some 1980s electronic drums and synthesizers.