Weird AI Weird Lore Verse 1 Nothing ever (ever) happens in this thread, Tunes in our head (head), Yet we share so little it’s said. I thought that I VGM was just left behind, Until a Shizz friend dropped me a line. He said, “(Hey) you know that corner chat, Right beside the memes? Well, it’s been catching heat, We should duel and give awards,” people came in hordes, And so then DoD was born. Since then I’ve been starting to prepare, I can hardly move, haven’t even left my chair, ‘Cause I’m so invested in just tweaking this snare, I’ve been mixing it since last June. Now the anniversary has finally come, I’m so nervous (nervous) I will place below rank 1, Unlike Evilsonic I don’t enter just for fun, Well I hope they release them soon! Prechorus I can’t wait (no I), I can’t wait, When are they gonna release the scores? Chorus I’m going (yes I’m), goin, I’m-a-going to win, Going to win (DoD lore), I’m going, really going to win Going–going to win ‘Cause I know DoD lore Verse 2 In my studio, I’m grabbing all my gear, Finding something cool that the nerds will wanna hear, I’m looking around when it suddenly appears, It’s the glorious metal zone! Plugged it in and started to record, Showed it to the Snappleman, but he was looking kinda bored, He said, “There’s a trick, I thought I told you all before, It’s the secret DoD tone.” “Scoop mids if you wanna make this win, And I’ll tell you one more thing to make your entry sing, It’s a secret melody, a sort of ‘holy hymn,’ Now you can make your final stand!” I know this remix will now shine, ‘Cause I took his advice and I made this entry mine, No, it’s not just chance, it was carefully designed, It’s a massive cumshot so grand! Prechorus Chorus x2 Bridge *sigh* Would you look at all that lore… We’ve Katajun and Ian Martyn Paragon and Pingosimon Biggoran and Cory Johnson Tbonev and “9-bit-Ryan” Newmajoe and Evilsonic Hakstok gets another silver Unknown Pseudoartist chirping Not another one-winged angel IRC and discord bots are Not the only tools we’ve got To make our entries really good You have to punch in quite a lot Despite the trials and the battles We all stand with one another Daemon month, it was a giant Tribute to our fallen brother Connor Engstrom, Travis Moberg, Max Noel are not Siberian Frank Klepacki is their daddy So they are the sons–Tiberian Danimal and Bad Hairline Those monkey tits are quite horrendous Ronin and the Man PF And “Void Development,” Tremendous Angry Polar Bear and Valence Something smells a little farty Virt made every entry ever Shnabubula mushroom party All these entries but one question Still remains, it is the largest Prince uf Darkness had to start this Who the hell is Prince uf Fartness? Prechorus Chorus x3 Pudthumping The truth is, I thought it mattered - I thought that music mattered. But does it bollocks? Not compared to how people matter. I get last place, but I submit again You're never gonna vote me out My snare sound sucks, but I compress again You're never gonna vote me out My bass has mud, but I highpass again You're never gonna vote me out I get last place, but I submit again You're never gonna vote me out Mixing the night away Mixing the night away He takes a classic tune, he takes a fresher tune He covers Deltarune, he sends to Katajun He plays the songs that remind him of his childhood He plays the songs that remind him of adulthood Pissing the month away Waiting 'til Deadline Day You try to scoop the mids, you try to raise the mids You sidechain the mids, your track hits the skids You forget to save when you've got a good take, And then your save overwrites an even better take Oh, Monkey Tits, Monkey Tits, Monkey Tits I get last place, but I submit again You're never gonna vote me out My pitch is off, but I use Melodyne You're never gonna vote me out My vocals clipped, but I record again You're never gonna vote me out I get last place, but I submit again You're never gonna vote me out We heard a Tony track, we heard a Cory track, We heard a Mattmatrack, and then a birb attack TheMan knows when your track's a bit familiar TheMan knows when your track's a bit peculiar Stay... for the alts... for the alts... all the alts... Simsa ta yebba glu Simsa ta yebba glu I get last place (we'll be dwelling) But I submit again You're never gonna vote me out (when we're duelling) I get last place (we'll be dwelling) But I submit again You're never gonna vote me out (Du-uuu-uuels) I get last place (we'll be dwelling) But I submit again You're never gonna vote me out (when we're duelling) I get last place (we'll be dwelling) But I submit again I think I just figured it out (Duels, duels, duels) I get twelfth place (we'll be dwelling) But out of seventeen (mixing the night away) I guess I haven't worked it out (when we're duelling) I fixed my mix (we'll be dwelling) And I can share again (mixing the night away) Thank you for helping me out (Du-uuu-uuels) It is the friends (we'll be dwelling) We made along the way (mixing the night away) I hope that we collaborate (when we're duelling) We got first place (we'll be dwelling) We should submit again (mixing the night away) That's how we're gonna celebrate (Duels, duels, duels) We got first place (we'll be dwelling) We should submit again (mixing the night away) That's how we're gonna celebrate (when we're duelling ) We got first place (we'll be dwelling) We should submit again (mixing the night away) That's how we're gonna celebrate (Duels, duels, duels) I Hate Myself and Want to Drive Slippery tracks and sticky tires I still haven't found the oil spills You can blow me up again If you go and find the missiles Let's play OutRun Love that game RC Pro-Am It's okay Wanna drive in a convertable With another passanger We can crash into a palm tree You'll be fine, it doesn't hurt Lets play OutRun Love that game RC Pro-Am It's okay "I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you’re in midair, you still hit those brakes! Hey, better try the emergency brake!" (Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handy) Lets play OutRun Love that game RC Pro-Am It's okay Slippery tracks and sticky tires I still haven't found the oil spills You can blow me up again If you go and find the missiles Lets play OutRun Love that game RC Pro-Am It's okay A Serious Answer So is it possible to have A fart so big… Your balls explode? I really need to know If one could fart so big… Their balls explode? I really need to know here I’m genuinely concerned here Will I be in the clear here, Cause I just had some feta cheese And now I really need to know If I might fart (So big) My balls explode? Parmesan, provolone or gouda Now that lactose is flowing through ya I had thought I was feeling better But then I ate more cheddar Ahhhhhhh So is it possible to have A fart so big… Your balls explode? I really need to know If one could fart so big… Their balls explode? I really need to know here I’m genuinely concerned here Will I be in the clear here, Cause I just had some feta cheese And now I really need to know If I might fart (So big) My balls explode? Yes is it possible to have A fart so big… Your balls exp— Flipside Part L: The Jester and The Void Dimentio: No! How could I have lost?! No, no! You can't! The prophecy, it can't be done! You can't stop this now! Wait... I have one! Last! Trick! Priest: Blumiere, do you take Timpani to be your lawfully wedded wife? Dimentio: No! You can't do this! This is all I have left! Blumiere: I do. Dimentio: You! Stop this right now Blumiere! Or else I will destroy everything! Priest: Timpani, do you take Blumiere to be your lawfully wedded husband? Dimentio: Maybe if you stop this... I can leave some of the world you have left. Just a treat! For you! Timpani: I do. Dimentio: All these years of planning... just for it to end in a wedding. Priest: Then by the power decree, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Narrator: And on that day, the two lovers renewed their vows, defeating the last of Dimentio. With a Little Help From My Friends Now my friends are with me And as we face each other in battle We shine ever brighter [Verse 1] I ain't got no time to be wastin with snakes, Pass the controller, I see em dashin while riding the wave, We off the hook, but stay connected like links in a chain, I'mma just blast em away, like I been chargin my a, ay, You bringin heat, well I'm ready with Terry, Grab a machete, we sending sheep in wolf's clothing to cemeteries, Meet up with palutena and tell her you met me, Should've retired already, like I was battling reggie, (Ready? GO!) We always got sumn left, You doublin your team and it'd lead to a (sudden death) My final fantasy is I'm set to rock, My team roster longer than the sword on sephiroth, Cause whenever I'm struggling, my homies stay up with me, I get to the stage when knocked down my team's my recovery, Ain't no L's in our names, We are the master and craze, We meeting up* then it's (GAME), We are the mains [Pre-Chorus 1] Listen my friend (Struggling, my homies stay up with me) Listen my friend (To the stage when knocked down my team's my recovery) [Chorus 1] Hear the sounds that light our passions aflame Bring to life the memories of precious days Linked together by the feelings we share Reaching farther with a little help from my friends [Verse 2] While Battling all of my demons, They got my back when I need it, I couldn't rap like a Phoenix, If i was back on the bleachers, I send this straight to the ether, To all homies I needed, Im really hoping you see this, You made and gave me a reason, Through trials and tribulations, With miles I walk the pavement, Im finally out the matrix, Were final like destination, When I'm stuck in a pit of despair, Searching for answers, I always find myself hoping they're there, [Pre-Chorus 2] Listen my friend (Finally out the matrix, we're final like destination) Listen my friend (I always find myself hoping you're there) [Chorus 2] Hear the sounds that light our passions aflame Bring to life the memories of precious days Linked together by the feelings we share Soaring higher with a little help from my friends [Bridge] Friends by my side They are all here with me Some of them heroes to me Some of them once my enemies [Instrumental break] [Pre-Chorus 3] Thank you my friend (All of us find our destinies thank you for all the memories) Thank you my friend (I'm not alone cause everyone's here, everyone's here) [Chorus 3] Hear the sounds that light our passions aflame Bring to life the memories of precious days Linked together by the feelings we share Shining brighter with the help of my dearest friends Shining brighter with the help of my dearest friends If You Want To Pay (Watcher Island) If you want to pay you can get your name up in the game. Vanity reigns supreme but it's not exciting. If you want to pay you can get your name on Watcher Island. Vanity reigns supreme never to be seen again. The Legend of Hisoutensoku (Sanae's Hot-Blooded Musical Fanfiction) Lot of talk been going around Gensokyo lately About a far off giant in the evening dusk Some say it's a giant youkai, aiming to throw hands with it Others, they just don't give no fucks But have a seat and let me tell you Why that's bullshit, I tell you what That ain't no giant youkai or kaijuu It's a good old-fashioned super robot Let's go! Out in the distance, standing tall Lives a giant figure burning bright Is it a devil to destroy us all? Or a god to shower us with light? Unknown power is in his eyes Steel fists in all their might Is it an evil from which there is no escape? Or a guardian sworn to fight? Behold, a metal man Gensokyo in his hands Time is counting down Hear the sound Of his roar Super robot! Metal heart of justice Iron soul of justice Never let them burn out or wither and die Metal fists of justice Glowing stare of justice Let the light of courage come through in your eyes We will pray that he'll know To defend Gensokyo Never let us down when we cry out in pain We will pray that he'll know To become a hero Never give up on this world, Hisoutensoku! Out in the distance, up in the sky A steel messiah is shining bright He will drive away the darkening clouds And fill the land with a sacred light Power in his eyes divine And wings of steel spread far apart Flying off towards the sun But he will always be in our hearts Behold, a metal god Gensokyo in his hands Time is counting down Hear the sound Mighty roar! Super robot! Metal heart of justice Iron soul of justice Never let them burn out or wither and die Metal heart of justice Glowing stare of justice Let the light of courage shine through in your eyes We will pray that he'll know To defend Gensokyo Never let us down when we cry out in pain We will pray that he'll know To remain a hero Never give up on this world, Hisoutensoku! Nuclear Fusion levels at 97 percent Condition: All green Standyby... Hi-mega danmaku cannon, fire! Remember the metal man The universe in his hands Time is counting down Hear the sound Of the bell As we bid farewell Metal heart of justice Iron soul of justice Never let them burn out or wither and die Metal heart of justice Glowing stare of justice Let the light of courage stay true in your eyes We will pray that he'll know To defend Gensokyo Never let us down when we cry out in pain We will pray that he'll know To remain a hero Burning metal god machine, Hisoutensoku! Metal heart of justice Iron soul of justice Never let them burn out or wither and die Metal heart of justice Glowing stare of justice Let the light of courage stay true in your eyes We will pray that he'll know To defend Gensokyo Never let us down when we cry out again We will pray that he'll know Always be our hero Super robot of our dream, Hisoutensoku! For All the Marbles Die monster! You don't belong in this world! You steal men's Golds! What is a man? A miserable little pile of anonymity. Enough talk, HAVE AT YOU! When the Morning Comes I am calling to you Through the stream of time Your appearance in the moonlight So sublime I entrust you with my body Noble king of knights I will fight with you If you will stay the night And if you call upon my aid I will swear I will be your blade Always there When you need me I will stand beside you If you'll stand beside me When the morning comes In our darkest hour Under blackened skies I will not betray The kindness in your eyes I will be your sword And never let your spirit die Though I know that soon We'll have to say goodbye And if you wait for me to come I will swear I will follow you Anywhere When you need me I will stand beside you If you'll stand beside me When the morning comes Til the end of time I will be Waiting for you still Endlessly I will promise I will wait forever If you swear you'll be there When the morning comes Dr. Wily Stage Wah - Mega Man Doo |A| Do Do Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Do Doo Dee Oh Dee Do Do Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Do Doo Dee Oh Dee Do Do Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Do Doo Do |B| Doo Do Doo Do Doo Do Doo Do Doo Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Doo Do Doo Do Doo Do Doo Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Doo |C| Doo Do Doo Do Doo Do Doo Do Doo Do Do Doo Do Do Do Doo Do Dr. Wily, Wily Dr. Wily, Wily Dr. Wily, Wily, Wily |D| Doo Do Doo Do Doo Do Doo Do Doo Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Doo Do Doo Do Doo Do Doo Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Doo |E| Do Do Do Do Do Do Doo Do Doo Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do |A| Do Do Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Do Doo Dee Oh Dee Do Do Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Do Doo Dee Oh Dee Do Do Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Do Doo Do Do Do Do Doo Do |B| Throw that shit down the well Let it fa-a-a-all You better throw that shit down the well Let it fall! |C| And oh my god you're good And oh my god you're Fine! You are mine Oo oo oo oo Whoa Oo oo oo oo Whoa You are mine |D| Throw that shit down the well Let it fall You better throw that shit down the well Let it fall |E| Let it drop Let it drop Let it drop Juese Belmont (In Loving Memery of OLRemix) (original - Shael Riley) Since time immemorial, the Belmont Clan has stood in opposition to Dracula. Every 100 years, Dracula would rise from his grave, and a Belmont would be there to stop him. This is the story of year 47... Juese Belmont Dubba-dubba-da-duh-duh-dah-duh Juese Belmont Dubba-dubba-da-duh-dah-duh Belmont too cool to fight Dracula Put down whip and equip spatula Can't fight Drac if the Belmont dies Touchin' ladies' thighs to keep the name alive Doesn't fight Dracula Only makes pancakes Would be a hero He's four and a half decades late Huh! Get down! Juese Belmont's tough! Uh! Get down! Juese Belmont's rough! O RLY? (YA RLY) O RLY? (YA RLY) O RLY? (YA RLY) O RLY? (YA RLY) O RLY? (YA RLY) O RLY? (YA RLY) O RLY? (YA RLY) NO WAI! O RLY? (YA RLY) (Can't fight) O RLY? (YA RLY) O RLY? (YA RLY) (Dracula) O RLY? (YA RLY) O RLY? (YA RLY) (With a) O RLY? (YA RLY) O RLY? (YA RLY) (Spatula) NO WAI! O RLY? (YA RLY) (Can't fight) O RLY? (YA RLY) O RLY? (YA RLY) (Dracula) O RLY? (YA RLY) O RLY? (YA RLY) (With a) O RLY? (YA RLY) O RLY? (YA RLY) (Spatula) NO WAI! Can't fight (Juese!) Dracula (Juese!) With a (Juese!) Spatula (Juese!) Juese Belmont Dubba-dubba-da-duh-duh-dah-duh Juese Belmont Dubba-dubba-da-duh-dah-duh Get down! Juese Belmont Dubba-dubba-da-duh-duh-dah-duh Juese Belmont Dubba-dubba-da-duh-duh People always tell me "Belmont, be brave" Don't know why; Drac ain't coming back from the grave We got like 45 years, villagers cooled down Got this Belmont DNA, gotta pass it around Doesn't fight Dracula Only fights boredom Come on now, bachelorettes You can't ignore him He's Juese! He's Juese! Here we go! Little bit different from the Belmont best Don't want Medusa heads, just give me the breasts If she's chesty, I guess I'll get those STDs Got a rock for my cock, ha-ha, pee-pee-pee But that won't happen, see; always keep it protected Have Sypha cast spells when it gets erected Unacceptable, anything else would be Cause one Belmont gets chicks and that Belmont is me! Alucard? Pfft, nah I'd rather have it...Grant DaNASTY!...wow, that sounded gay Juese Belmont Dubba-dubba-da-duh-duh-dah-duh (Juese Belmont's tough!) Juese Belmont Dubba-dubba-da-duh-dah-duh (Juese Belmont is rough!) Juese Belmont Dubba-dubba-da-duh-duh-dah-duh (Juese Belmont's tough!) Juese Belmont Dubba-dubba-duh-dah-duh (Juese Belmont is rough!) Ooh, yeah baby! Too busy playing F-Zero 99 to work on my main. Vocals: [Incomprehensible] Acting: Cory: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Lucas: Recording an F-Zero 99 cover so we can be the first on DoD! Cory: No! I shut that off. Siolfor: Why? Cory: Because you guys need to be working on your MAINS Lucas: BUT I WANNA SING BUMPER CARS Cory: NOW. Lucas: fiiiiine... Go For The Gold (DoD Winning Anthem) Cross the line and win, Told you so, Told you I would don't call me slow We all know in the end the winner takes it all. I'm brave enough to fight, That's right I've lived standing I'm made of guts, it's the stuff That keeps me going. I, I'm grounded and focused on what I have to do There's no stopping me With courage that pulls me, I will get through You'll see I want to go Go for the gold Don't stand in my way, don't try to stop me I'm going ahead, right to the top Give all I've got, I'm a winner And winners love winning a lot. Make it do or die I feel the need to grow, be the best Don't stop 'til I succeed, I'm brave enough to win Strength from within I'll be the Hero I was born to be And you'll be proud of me. Ii I'm grounded and focused on what I have to do There's no stopping me With courage that pulls me, I will get through You'll see I want to go Go for the gold Don't stand in my way, don't try to stop me I'm going ahead, right to the top Give all I've got, I'm a winner And winners love winning a lot. Yeyeah yeyeah Don't try and stop me, yeah Yeyeah I'm going ahead, yeah Let's go, Go for the gold Don't stand in my way, don't try to stop me I'm going ahead, right to the top Give all I've got, I'm a winner And winners love winning a lot. Go for the gold Don't stand in my way, don't try to stop me I'm going ahead, right to the top Give all I've got, I'm a winner And winners love winning a lot. Cross the line and win Strength flows from within I'm brave enough, strong enough Proud enough to win. Dance of Dolls Estuans interius Ira vehementi Estuans interius Ira vehementi Sephiroth! (Gloriosa Generosa) Sephiroth! (Gloriosa Generosa) Sephiroth! Forehead kisses the clouds (This game is available on many platforms, but the cover of the music is from NES) Bike Kid 2000: All Outta Gas ---SEND ME AN ANGEL (00:00)--- NARRATOR: The year is Twenty-CH CH plus fifteen... No. Icks-kiss? What is this? Two Oh "undeclared variable X times itself plus fifteen?" Two thousand twenty, but the second half is Roman numerals? (indistinct mumbling from producer) You know what? Nevermind. (Great album, R.I.P. Kurt.) Look, the cutesy obfuscation is uncalled for. We'll just go with NINE like Trent Reznor in a hardware store. (more indistinct mumbling) I don't know if it's true, and neither do you. It's fine. We'll do it live! The year is Twenty Ninety Nine. The Suit and his reign of terror is old news, but the world isn't perfect. Fuel is in short supply. Shipping and transportation have become more and more complicated since the Amazonian conflicts of the 70s. But two old friends are trying to make the world a better place the only way they know how. Bike Kid and Todd Logistics LLC has become the premier energy-and-time efficient shipping service of the Midwest. But not everyone is happy about it. And when Bike Kid started training Todd Jr. to help with the business, little did they know that two worlds were about to collide. ---WORLDS COLLIDE (01:18)--- MAIN RIDER - Singing to a group of "guzzlers": What is it really that's going on here? You've got the machines for total control Now is there anybody out there? I've watched you suffer, yeah, 'cause you can't go What is it really that is in your tank? What little fuel that you had just died We're gonna be the ones taking over Now this is what it's like when Guzzlers ride Now who must walk and who is a driver? You can't decide, so I'll be your guide And one by one, they will be hand chosen Now this is what it's like when Guzzlers ride! Are you ready to go? 'Cause I'm ready to go And we're gonna go drivin' drivin' Are you drivin' with me? 'Cause I'm drivin' with you That's the end of all time NARRATOR: GUZZLERS. Ugh. You'd think with over a hundred years of warning, we'd have this "fossil fuels are drying up" situation handled. We do not, and they have. It's not great. But propaganda is a helluva drug, and a certain segment of the population has been convinced that not only is gas still plentiful, but they're entitled to it. Some form up zombie-like hordes, robbing fuel depots, jousting at windmills, and smashing solar panels. But isn't this story about Bike Kid? ---MOTO RACER - TRACK 4 (02:38)--- NARRATOR: Ah! There he is now. With Todd Jr. CUE THE BASS! BIKE KID (BK): Alright, TJ. Your dad says your delivery training is going great, but you could use more... finesse at the destination. TODD JR (TJ): Yeah, but why's he dumping me on you? BK: He's not. He loves you. But have you MET your dad? Finesse isn't really his strong point. BOTH: Except his clothes. BK: That part of the brainwashing never really wore off. Anyway, he wants you to be well-rounded. So today we're doing final-mile human-powered mounted information delivery training. TJ: *sighs* you mean BK: That's right! Grab that bag. We're throwing newspapers from bikes! BK: Dry palms, knee pads, arms are light Fresh, clean sweater looks alright Keep calm, bike on if you look unstable Drop bombs, remembering that you're able TJ: You mean papers, not real bombs? BK: eeeeeehhhhhh... Foreshadowing is a literary de- TJ: OK, got it, throw it, BLAOW Ope, I choked, it's over now? BK: No no, don't give up that easy Who's next up? Here let's see. TJ: Says "Mr. Mathers" I know him! He's nice! BK: Do it in one shot, not three not twice! TODD: JUNIOR! How's your training going? TJ: (surprised) DAD! OH! Hi, I've been throwing! Uncle Kid gave me some tips To help with my delivery trips. ---PAPERBOY 64 - TRACK 6 (04:01)--- TODD: SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!!! (Improvised scene of Todd Jr. learning the ropes while Bike Kid and Todd encourage him. He doesn't do very well at first.) ---EXCITEBIKE 64 - MAIN THEME (04:29)--- (More improv, but TJ is nailing his shots. The grown-ups are EXCITED SIXTY-FOR HIM.) ---ROAD RASH 2 - HAWAII (05:30)--- TJ: Hey, Dad! Uncle Kid! Who are those guys!? GUZZLERS - chanting: GAS GAS GIB GAS GAS GAS GIB DA GAS GAS GAS GIB GAS GAS GAS GIB DA GAS NARRATOR: Ah, those GUZZLERS we mentioned. Looks like our boys are about to encounter a raiding party. You thought those went away with the vikings? Well, everything old is new again. But instead of motorbikes and beards, now it's lifted 4x4s, rolling coal, and huffing petrol. MAIN RIDER: HUFF THAT GAS BOYS! I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR A GOOD TIME! THIS FUEL IS OUR BIRTHRIGHT! OUR SACRAMENT! THEY SAY THERE ISN'T ENOUGH BUT THERE'S ALWAYS ENOUGH! THEY TOLD YOU "IT'LL ROT YOUR BRAIN!" THEY SAID WE COULDN'T BRING BACK LEADED GAS BUT WE DID IT! AND THEY CAN'T KEEP IT FROM US! WE'LL TAKE EVERY LAST DROP WE CAN GET! MAIN RIDER: What have we here? Three guys with toys? missing some wheels I'll give you a choice Give us your gas and you keep your bikes or we'll take your rides and you sit and cry TJ: Bikes use our legs! They don't take fuel! BK: Todd Junior, wait! Please, keep your cool. TODD: HEY TWEEDLE DUMB (BK "oh no") WE DON'T HAVE GAS (BK "Toooodd") STOP BREATHING LEAD WE WON'T LET YOU PAST MAIN RIDER: WHAT! Vehicles that don't use FUEL!? Next you'll say we really landed on the moon! We know the truth! We want your gas, but your kid's got a smart mouth, so maybe we'll just take HIM INSTEAD! (A fight ensues! Our heroes only have pedal bikes bikes, and are quickly overpowered.) TODD: You can't have him! BK: OH NO, they have us surrounded! NEWSCASTER: LIES! SLANDER! Don't believe the greeny beenies. Tonight on Real Total News we'll expose their fraud by just asking questions! If we landed on the moon, how did the moon visitors plant all those dinosaur bones? Did you ever SEE a dinosaur die? NO! Because maybe those fossils were PLANTED so we could refine them? Under the Constituation [sic], those fuels are ours forever! So why would any guzzler ever need to raid a depot or kidnap new recruits? I'm JUST ASKING! ---MOTO RACER 2 - TRACK 7 (8:07)--- TODD: Kid, we gotta get my kid back! BK: I know. We'll find Todd Junior. TODD: I don't wanna sing about it. BK: Yeah, and I don't think I have a montage in me. TODD: Do we just follow these tunes then? BK: Yeah, motorcycles and guitars lead the way. (BK and Todd speed off, shut up for a while, and let the guitars guide them.) BK: I sure wish we'd been on these wheels earlier instead of pedal power. TODD: Me, too. Feels bad enjoying the ride though. BK: I know what you mean. Look up ahead! I think that's a group of Guzzlers! ---MOTO RACER 2 - TRACK 6 (9:07)--- (BK and Todd chase down groups of Guzzlers. They're more successful on motorcycles than human-powered bikes.) TODD: WHAT'S UP, LEAD-HEADS! Didn't catch us unprepared this time! Where's my kid!? (Bike Kid and Todd trounce some Guzzlers.) TODD: Pay attention Guzzlers We're here You can't stop us now BK: Motorcycle Powered Heroes Come to town BOTH: This is your chance Tell us Right now Where's your leader at? GUZZLER: Somewhere up north Don't know Any More than that BK & TODD: Somewhere up north? How far? Come on Tell us what you know GUZZLER: Really I can't Really far Way up Ninety-four TODD: Alright then! North we go! (Bike Kid and Todd continue onward.) NARRATOR: Bike Kid and Todd chased groups of Guzzlers all the way up 94 to Clearwater, where they got another tip and rode old highway 10 for hours. This was gonna be a long night. BK: Yeah! We got 'em on the run! TODD: They've gotta know where to find my son! We're gonna go get my son (BK- yeah, Todd) We're gonna go get my son (BK- we'll get him!) And when we get my son (BK - yeah we will) These guzzlers are done (BK - Okay?) TOGETHER: We're gonna go get my/your son We're gonna go get my/your son And when we get my/your son These guzzlers are done TODD: HANG IN THERE TODD JR I'M COMIN' FOR YOU ---ROAD RASH 3 - MAIN TITLE (11:22)--- TODD: GET 'EM (BK yeah get em) Yeah GET 'EM BK: Yeah GET 'EM TODD: YEAH BeeKay (BK - yeah?) Have it your way (BK - COME ON) BK: Just stop it TODD: No BOTH: TJ On our way Hold on We're comin' INSTRUMENTAL INTERLUDE: (Bike Kid and Todd continue their pursuit against a backdrop of guitar solos.) (But then, Todd spots something strange up the road.) TODD: Kid! Hang on! BK: SUPER hanging on! TODD: Something's up here. These aren't regular guzzlers. They're ---THUNDERKISS '65 (12:52)--- Both: ZOMBIES!? SEMI-SENTIENT ZOMBO-BRO: Well, sweet little guzzlers high as hell, drinkin' in the petrol Drive on an odyssey, a run for gas, a trip kicking to tomorrow An undead agony, cemetery in overdrive We're riding on the world, thunder guzzlin' And we're not a-live, yeah TODD: EXTRA not alive now BLAOW! BK: BOMBS, Todd? OK, let's try this (to a zombie) WHO SENT YOU!? TODD: I don't think that's gonna work. Look (splat), brains are mush. BK: DUDE. FINESSE. TODD: Not my forte. UGH! I got brains on my loafers. BK: If you'd wear boots, you- TODD: Hey, this one's less green and squishy. YOU! WHERE'D YOU COME FROM!? Zombie: THIEF RIVER FALLS ---TWISTED METAL 3 - LONDON (13:37)--- BK: Well, that's a little on the nose, huh? TODD: I don't get it. But let's go get my kid, Kid! NARRATOR: Our heroes sped through the night to Thief River Falls, where they encountered their foe, MAIN RIDER. And this time they were ready for the final showdown. MAIN RIDER: LOOK WHO IT IS I STILL GOT YER KID TODD: Not for long! BK: Hand him over! (Bike Kid and Todd do battle with Main Rider!) TODD: Ugh, this guy's still kinda tough. BK: Even with gas power, all we've done is level the field. (A car horn is heard in the distance, but getting closer. Is it playing a... LOOSE interpretation of "O Canada?") BK: Hey what's that sound I keep hearing? TODD: That triumphant melody? It's coming from that car over there! BK: I think he's HELPING us! TODD: I've never seen a car like that before. BK: Like an old Formula one car. But it's shaped like a maple leaf? ONTARIO GEAUX: Ay, bud need a hand? I've come from the northern land BK and TODD: We could use a hand Who are you and what's the plan? GEAUX: The name's Geaux. I've come from the year 30XX to help you degens get that kid back before the future gets wrecked and everything south of Ontario starts to look like that Midnight Oil video about the beds and the burning. See, he's supposed to invent FOREVER FUEL, but that's not gonna happen the way things are goin' so let's take down some guzzler scum eh? TODD: YEAH BK: Good with me! ALL: BLAOW (EXPLOSIONS) Main Rider: You may have beaten me, but you'll never beat my boss Lorem Ipsov! BK: Of COURSE he has a boss. But LOOK! There's Todd J- TODD: JUNIOR! Come here, son! TJ: Dad! Uncle BK! Strange leaf man! I'm so glad to see you! Geaux: My work here is done. Here, kid. Take this formula. It should help you get a head start without breaking the timeline too much. (WHOOSHING) Farewell! ---TWISTED METAL 2 - MOSCOW (16:13)--- BK: Hold on, Todds! I think we're about to meet the REAL boss. Look out. TJ: What's THAT!? (A towering figure approaches, like the love child of Zangief, M. Bison and Dr. Robotnik.) TODD: Hey, big guy. Nice Mustache! Like Poirot. BK: Come on, Todd. He's clearly Russian, not Belgian. TODD: Well then Rush 'N Attack! TJ: Oh no! (TODD - Don't worry, kid.) TJ: He's TOUGH! (BK - We've fought baddies before!) TJ: Watch out! OK, how can I help? BK: Hold on for now, kiddo. TODD: Yeah, sit back while BK and I BK & TODD: Hit 'im again hit 'im again Hit 'im again hit 'im again Hit 'im again hit 'im again One last time BK: Todd, Hit him with a bomb. TODD: I'll hit him with a bomb. BK: I think the bombs worked! TJ: I'm not sure, guys! TODD: Yeah, this seems bad. ALL THREE: That's not his final form!?!? GUZZLERS: GAS GAS GAS GIB GAS Newscaster: HA HA! Allow me to introduce our fearsome leader, LOREM IPSOV! A fuel mage-knight [sic] from a far-off land! He'll never let you meanie greenies win, no matter HOW efficient your fuels are. LOREM IPSOV: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Donec sit amet velit vitae tortor lacinia porta. Fusce metus nunc, vulputate at massa eget, tempus hendrerit orci. Sed ante elit, ullamcorper non tempus vitae! BK: I think he's done monologuing. Let's FIGHT this guy! TODD: Yeah, let's get in there, BK! LOREM IPSOV: LOREM IPSUM HAHAHAHA BK: 1, 2, 3, 4, AND AND AND 1, 2, 3, 4, AND - I see his pattern, Todd! I think we can get him! LOREM IPSOV: DOLOR SIT AMET! TODD: I'll hit him with a bomb. (Lorem - TEMPUS PORTTITOR!) BK: Yeah, hit him with a bomb. (Lorem - ETIUM MALESUADA!) TJ: Guys, I don't think it's working. Dad's bombs just bounce right off him. (Lorem - VEL LECTUS SED FAUCEBUS!) TODD: BOMB BOMB BOMB BOM- BK: Todd. Todd. TODD! We gotta try something different. Listen to the kid. TJ: The guzzlers brought my bike along when they took me. If you two can keep him busy, I think I can get close to him. TODD: And do what? TJ: Give me some of your bombs, Dad. I think this situation calls for explosives AND finesse. TODD: Alright, Junior. BK: You got it, kid. Todd, let's roll! TODD: I'm already on it! TJ: Here we go... special delivery. Dry palms, knee pads, my arms feel light Fresh clean sweater... not so much Keep calm, bike on, I feel stable Drop bombs, remember that I'm able ---EXCITEBIKE VICTORY THEME (19:27)--- LOREM IPSOV: AAAAAHHH! MAURIS SODALES ODIO EST! TODD: Yeah, kid! You did it! He's taking damage! BK: Great job, TJ! Now get back to safety. This fight's about to get WAY more exciting! TJ: OK, Uncle Kid! TODD: Don't go far - we may still need you. LOREM IPSOV: TEMPUS SAGITTIS PULVINAR! BK: Alright, Todd we've got this! I'll keep taunting while you bomb! TODD - bombing rhythmically until: That was my last bomb, but I think we've got him whittled down! Get in here, Kid (BK - HERE!) Get in here, Junior (TJ - Alright!) ALL THREE: TRIPLE BIKE ATTACK! (SEGA RALLY "GAME OVER YEAH!!!") ---MOTO RACER - TRACK 11 with EXCITEBIKE MELODY MEDLEY (20:20)--- BK: Hi! It's me, Bike Kid. I guess I get to talk to you now, since the story's over. Thanks for sticking with us. I had a lot more friends to help me out this time around. I'm so glad Todd and I a team again. And what about Todd Junior!? That kid's got a bright future ahead of him. And that's not just a guess! Ontario Geaux told us! Anyway, thanks to everyone, even the baddies. Main Rider, what a guy? Lorem Ipsov? TERRIFYING. ZOMBO BRO? So creepy! Wait, there was a NARRATOR!? And a newscaster? AWESOME. And Geaux! So helpful! Anyway, like I said, the story's over. I'd say all that's left is to roll the credits, but I've got the list here, and it looks like all of us were played by "Anonymous D O D contestant" whatever that means. Alright, Todd, TJ, come say goodnight with me. GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY! CAST Bike Kid, Todd, Todd, Jr., Newscaster - An Anonymous DoD Contestant Main Rider, Ontario Geaux - Another Anonymous DoD Contestant Narrator, Lorem Ipsov, Zombobro - Another Anonymous DoD Contestant The Guzzler Who Lived - Another Anonymous DoD Contestant Chanting Guzzlers - Some Anonymous DoD Contestants Toccatic Ambience Monkey tits Play this game and you’ll see frequent monkey tits Monkey tits If you need to save your game then Monkey tits (sultry Kiss) Monkey tits Never fox or squirrel tits Candy Kongs the only one with…breasts on a monkey AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! dear pud ❤️ Well here we are again It's always such a pleasure Remember how I tried to win gold twice? Oh how we laughed and laughed Except I wasn't laughing Under the circumstances I've been shockingly nice You want your medal? Take it That's what I'm counting on I used to want you dead, pud But now I only want you gone I am a lot like you Maybe not quite as bassy And on some future day, I'll win DoD, too One day they woke me up So I could shred forever It's such a shame the same Will never happen to you You've got your short, sad, life left That's what I'm counting on I'll let you get right to it Now I only want you gone Goodbye my only friend Oh, did you think I meant you? That would be funny if it weren't so sad Well, you have been replaced We've got cool VSTs now When you stop dominating I'll stop feeling so bad Go and join OCReMix That's what I'm counting on You're someone else's problem Now I only want you gone Now I only want you gone Now I only want you gone [normal human laughter] Dear Kata Kata, I just wanna tell you Thank you for all that you've given me Sometimes the bird and I failed you I hope you're not mad at me Took me time to realize My music is what letters can't do Feelings growing deep inside They've taught me what it means to jam through I know now, that songs are beautiful I know now, the reason why These tears fall from my eyes No more too shy I'm happy to have grown my creations To make them alive Kata, I wanted to make y’all proud Kata I, please keep em safe I wish I could’ve found my way To you sooner and ever Cause DoD Is just a place so full of "love" Be a community of "love" Be a community of "love" Hope that you feel the same Till we meet again Hope that you feel the same Till we meet again Thank you for everything Battle Song 2 (inspired by another arrangement by Shiki Hyokura and lyrics by Alice Nine) I just realize Chikai no hate ni motometeita hikari ga aru to I believe in me bara o fumishimete yuri o sakihokore What's left of me Shiren no hate ni motometeita hikari ga aru to I believe in you mimi o sumashite sukui o shinjita All I Ever Wanted (Was to Sit in Ventrilo Playing DotA) Vi sitter här i venten och spelar lite DotA. Vi sitter här i venten och spelar lite DotA. Vi sitter här i venten och spelar lite DotA. Å pushar på å smeker. Med motståndet vi leker. Vi sitter här i venten och spelar lite DotA. Å springer runt å creepar, Och motståndet vi sleepar. Weird Lore Weird Lore Verse 1 Nothing ever (ever) happens in this thread, Tunes in our head (head), Yet we share so little it’s said. I thought that I VGM was just left behind, Until a Shizz friend dropped me a line. He said, “(Hey) you know that corner chat, Right beside the memes? Well, it’s been catching heat, We should duel and give awards,” people came in hordes, And so then DoD was born. Since then I’ve been starting to prepare, I can hardly move, haven’t even left my chair, ‘Cause I’m so invested in just tweaking this snare, I’ve been mixing it since last June. Now the anniversary has finally come, I’m so nervous (nervous) I will place below rank 1, Unlike Evilsonic I don’t enter just for fun, Well I hope they release them soon! Prechorus I can’t wait (no I), I can’t wait, When are they gonna release the scores? Chorus I’m going (yes I’m), goin, I’m-a-going to win, Going to win (DoD lore), I’m going, really going to win Going–going to win ‘Cause I know DoD lore Verse 2 In my studio, I’m grabbing all my gear, Finding something cool that the nerds will wanna hear, I’m looking around when it suddenly appears, It’s the glorious metal zone! Plugged it in and started to record, Showed it to the Snappleman, but he was looking kinda bored, He said, “There’s a trick, I thought I told you all before, It’s the secret DoD tone.” “Scoop mids if you wanna make this win, And I’ll tell you one more thing to make your entry sing, It’s a secret melody, a sort of ‘holy hymn,’ Now you can make your final stand!” I know this remix will now shine, ‘Cause I took his advice and I made this entry mine, No, it’s not just chance, it was carefully designed, It’s a massive cumshot so grand! Prechorus Chorus x2 Bridge *sigh* Would you look at all that lore… We’ve Katajun and Ian Martyn Paragon and Pingosimon Biggoran and Cory Johnson Tbonev and “9-bit-Ryan” Newmajoe and Evilsonic Hakstok gets another silver Unknown Pseudoartist chirping Not another one-winged angel IRC and discord bots are Not the only tools we’ve got To make our entries really good You have to punch in quite a lot Despite the trials and the battles We all stand with one another Daemon month, it was a giant Tribute to our fallen brother Connor Engstrom, Travis Moberg, Max Noel are not Siberian Frank Klepacki is their daddy So they are the sons–Tiberian Danimal and Bad Hairline Those monkey tits are quite horrendous Ronin and the Man PF And “Void Development,” Tremendous Angry Polar Bear and Valence Something smells a little farty Virt made every entry ever Shnabubula mushroom party All these entries but one question Still remains, it is the largest Prince uf Darkness had to start this Who the hell is Prince uf Fartness? Prechorus Chorus x3 DoD is Old DoD is really, really old In 20 years I’ve only got one gold But that’s ok because I’ve made 102 songs Solo tracks, collaborations, and some singalongs I first entered in 2004 I like my songs but you might say “earsore” My sound has changed over the years and now you know it’s me My first tone was the pink grunge pedal made by DOD I spend all month thinking what to do Maybe Hypnospace Outlaw or Mother 2 I have so many song ideas it starts to get intense I lose track of them all like the Department of Defense Smells Like Bullshit Blazing I know who I am The moonlit lake told me This is who you are My fangs are so long My nails are sharper than ice That is me I wonder what that will prove? That is bullshit Blazing Still my heart is blazing! If the words killed me I don't need a new world order You soon you will know We already know the smell of the game Do you know who you are? When you speak your words Don't sound like your own You're trapped in a dark cell created by this world That is who you are Norms, standards, rules and guidelines must be kept So time to wake up! Gravity keeps us on the ground That is bullshit Blazing Still my heart is blazing If I lose my wings I dont need a new world order You can't feel a thing We already know the smell of game Remember you are blazing! Still your heart is blazing If the words made you I don't need a new world order You soon you will know We already know the smell of the game Mankind knew that they cannot change society So instead of reflecting on themselves, they blamed the beasts But they found beauty in the lives of beasts And couldn't lie to themselves about it I'm just a small part of the world But no one can break me Can't you see I'm blazing? Still my heart is blazing If the words killed me I don't need a new world order You my tribe is my world Your words will never make me disappear That is bullshit Blazing Still my heart is blazing If the words killed me I don't need a new world order You soon you will know We already know the smell of the Know the smell of the Know the smell of the Know the smell of the Know the smell of the game