Bayou of the Mind's Eye Ma chère Joséphine Que le monde a changé depuis ma dernière lettre Ainsi ce soir je prends ma plume Non pas pour me merveiller Sur l’époque où nous vivons Mais pour déclarer l'amour Qui est dans mon cœur If a song was a road I would ride through the night to you There's a moon on the rise And I'm drawn on the tide to you And I will be with you And I will stay with you And I will dream with you If you need me to Anytime, anywhere In a corner of your mind's eye And I will be with you And I will stay with you And I will dream with you If you need me to Anytime, anywhere In a corner of your mind's eye TimeToad on Elm Street This Place is Haunted, you know you want it! Come and get some at MAGFest, at MAGFest! This Place is Haunted, you know you want it! Come and get some... This Place is Haunted, you know you want it! Come and get some at MAGFest, at MAGFest! X2 Gather around with all of your friends listening to NES tunes. Reminiscing about the time when VGM was still new. If you don’t go, it would not be wise! You’re out of time, Lord. Looking for orbs. Running around. Searching the floors! Travel back to 1250 A.D. to save history. Hopefully, you’re not too late! Three toads, one queen. X4.5 Wahh! Battletoads breaking the scene. Battletoads breaking your screen! It’s time to Ragnarok! This Place is Haunted, you know you want it! Come and get some at MAGFest, at MAGFest! X2 Kilo Oscar November Golf Bananas don't burn in the kitchen Vacuum up the fruit hotdog with the face slurper Overflow the face funnel with minion fuel Thrust and bust the jungle stick right in the kisser Overload the taste portal, ooh, la, la, with the blonde pistol If I hit you with a barrel when I Pound the ground, save my hoard from you then As seen on Super Nintendo in the end know my hunger though Vegetarian smash the Kremlings so victoriously I don’t wanna beat around the bunch Kilo Oscar November Golf Kilo Oscar November Golf Polish off the golden rod in the chomp chamber Populate the blather box with the kart spinner Deposit potassium in the opposite butthole Snack attack the yummy zone, ooh, la, la, with Gwen Stefani If I hit you with a barrel when I Pound the ground, save my hoard from you then As seen on Super Nintendo in the end know my hunger though Vegetarian smash the Kremlings so victoriously I don’t wanna beat around the bunch Kilo Oscar November Golf Kilo Oscar November Golf Peel the you know what, stick it you know where OK! Grass level Ooooo yayayaya oooo yaya yaya oooo FUNKY FRESH Funky Fresh Rap Intro: [Thank you for choosing Funky Flights 2. Please sit back, relax, and enjoy the following informational program.] Don’t touch that dial, yo this my brand new station we’re your funkiest option for commercial aviation I’m bringing the noise, yeah I deliver the funk I ship a 10-inch banana to the back of ya trunk His name is FUNKY they call him HUNKY ten times the swagger of that Dipshit CHUNKY Don’t (don’t) you dare ask me WHY No you never seen a monkey with a barrel this FLY Ready for takeoff, pay the two coin FEE we’ll give you a ride all over DKC Ya better strap in, looks like a windy day Yeah, and none of this shits’ cleared by the FAA I ain’t got not time for that Wack regulation Our surfboard? it hovers on funk levitation It’s truly a marvel of ape engineering Especially since there is no module for steering So we broadcast on unlicensed FREQUENCIES I flip em the bird (Funk-Funk da police) So just fasten your seatbelts, you’re set to go Cause it’s right it here, lights out - GORILLA RADIO [Interlude] NO (NO) SLEEP (SLEEP) TO KREMLAND! I’ve got expertise in air simian DELIVERY I also double majored in wood-based ARTILLERY You might think we’re bros, cause of the surfboards and guns But we’re crazy progressive, we voted for HILLARY We’re so superfly make us part of your dream team We’ll jumpstart your game (funky fresh and so clean, clean) We’re so fucking cool, fly you straight to K. Rool It’s a speedrunning hack, takes you straight to the win screen You think that I’m done? I ain’t got to stop I got plenty of heat left for this hot-head BOP You think that I’m Cranky? Your mama, I Spanky She had no complaints while I was wreckin’ her SHOP The Funkiest Monkeys On Crocodile ISLE You hop in our barrel we’ll take you in STYLE The radio’s busted, there’s only one station So don’t even bother to ADJUST THAT DIAL [sax solo] When I say Funky, you say Flights! Funky! Flights! Funky! Flights! When I say David, you say Wise! David! Wise! David! Wise! [FUNKY MODE ACTIVATED] Walnuts peanuts pineapple SHNAPPS You keep your nuts, we’re out here doing SHOTS My rhymes give the nerds those spectacular fits, And make the girls in the crowd show their MONKEY TITS It’s here, it’s the sequel the rhyme scheme’s disorderly My shitposting schedule I put them out quarterly Your pussy ass limerick It leaves me with limp dick My lyrical nonsense is much less straightforward-y (You’re breaking the rules…?) no I breakka yo face! Cause every sylLAble is right in its place To all of my haters that nitpick my grammar Yo, tell ‘im cuz: “BANANA SLAMMA!” [outro] I exceed expectations, your records, I’ll flatten’em I ain’t fishing for gold, no I’m coming for PLATINUM Detox Tower I've climbed so long, so high Muscles burn inside Ripped myself apart on this odyssey If I could just Rise above the hate, I could Pull us from this pool of toxicity Left of us We'll do this One last time This could be so different All those times we said the same Promised to not leave you there Let's do this together Through the pain I'll keep my word Keep your heart (This is all I'm worth) Despite my own (Never mind the hurt) Climbed so long, I don't Know what else is left here When you were in my arms When was I submerged in this Pain and blame you flow with Here and now won't stand for more Stop this poison in my soul I deserve so much more For myself or no one at all For my soul I'll break my word Break your heart (Set myself free) For my own (Show love to me) I'm Not Alone Walking alone Cold when I'm on my own On this snow-covered road Footprints slowly melt away Flickered shadows fall The face I can't recall Lost in memory (deep inside of me) Filled with fears of yesterday I close my eyes 'Cause this road feels so long Still, even so I know that I must go Save a life, save a friend Not expecting a reward Lessons I have learned The shame inside me burned To confess my lies (to apologize) Face the feelings I ignored I close my eyes 'Cause this road feels so long I realize I don't think that I'm strong But I, I'm not alone I must remember now, I'm not alone I must remember now Never, never alone Even if you cannot hear my call You're still right here Courage can grow You planted it years ago Walk a hundred miles to find you Climb the mountain through the storm With you by my side My strength is multiplied In the bitter frost (I'm no longer lost) Your words will keep me warm I close my eyes 'Cause the road feels so long I hear your voice I don't have to be strong 'Cause I'm not alone I must remember now I'm not alone I must remember now Never, never alone Even if you cannot hear my call You're still right here No I, I'm not alone I must remember now I'm not alone I must remember now Never, never alone I must remember now I'm not alone No I, no I'm not alone I must remember now Kremland's Stupid Happy Boat Ride( Complete Ride Through Mix) Kremling Announcer: Welcome to “it’s a little isle: stupid happy boat ride” Please keep your krew together as you walk past the zinger hive. Klaptraps under age 7 must be accompanied by an adult please do not carry any food or kutlasses when entering It’s a Little Isle. And Please Keep your Arms and Tails inside the boat at all times. Thank you. Song: It’s a little Isle That’s Full of crocodiles On a Pirate ship We sail the ocean blue It’s a little Isle That’s Full of crocodiles It’s just we do We’re crocodiles But come and stay awhile! Oh it’s a Little Isle of Crocodiles Here’s a volcano and a mine Its an Isle of crocodiles we’re in a swamp oh me, oh my! It’s a little Isle That’s Full of Crocodiles Here’s a carnival The one you’re in right now. Here’s a library With a coaster inside it We really don’t know why I guess it was to Make books a bit less boring And now you’re In a dungeon That smells like bad onions Which is the only thing That we found that rhymed It’s a dungeon Filled with radiation Its almost the end of this stupid ride It’s a little Isle That’s Full of crocodiles This wasn’t fun for us And It’s not fun for you It’s a little Isle That’s Full of crocodiles It’s just we do We’re crocodiles But come and stay awhile! Oh it’s a Little Isle of Crocodiles This ride is over, get off the boat Exit near The Krazy Kremland gift shop And buy a stupid T-shirt Or a fridge magnet! Kremling Announcer: “Please keep your ugly children seated until this boat comes to a complete stop, and you’re told to disembark.” Enjoy the rest of your day at Krazy Kremland. En Espanyol "Las cucarachas entran, pero no pueden salir." Kremlinglish: “ONK!” I want to go home VERSE 1 Cold and dark (Dark as night) Lost, alone (So alone) Whispers echo (Echoing) In my ears VERSE 2 Memories (Long ago) Of your voice (Tears within) Take me with you I want to go home VERSE 3 Hope decays (Into earth) Breathing slows (Air is thin) Steps uncertain (Help) As walls close in VERSE 4 Hear my cries (Voice so weak) Through the gloom (Bleeding through) Quaking softly I want to go home BRIDGE Through the dark I crawl (Striving to survive) I fight (Go!) To see the light (Where is the light) If there's strength left inside my bones (Reach deep inside) I'll hold on tight (Embrace the strife) (Go on, that's right) VERSE 5 Glint of light (Somewhere close) Flickers near (Steady now) Fragile sparking (Catch) Will faith be reborn? VERSE 6 Voices close (Are you there?) Help is near (One more step) Take me with you I want to go home, go home (Take me with you) (I want to go home) OUTRO Take me with you I want to go home (I want to go home) You Have Uno Dracula: Everyone has uno, dipshit. It came free with your fucking Morningstar. Richter Belmont: Well, I didn't get it... D: YOU HAVE UNO! R: I DON'T HAVE FUCKING UNO, MOTHERFUCKER, AND-- D: YOU HAVE UUUUNOOOO, YOU FUCKING DICK R: Well I didn't get it, and I have the oldest whip known to man! D: No you don't, I bought mine day 1, you fucking fleaman! R: I don't have it you fucking monster! D: YOU HAVE UNO! R: I don't have 2, I don't have 3, I don't have fucking 4! I don't have 7, 8, 9, 10, or 11! OR FUCKING! UNO! I DON'T HAVE UNO! D: RICHTER! GO TO IT IN THE ARCADE AND YOU'LL BE ABLE TO DOWNLOAD IT FOR FREE! YOU FUCKING DUMB BELMONT! IT'S A FUCKING CARD GAME! YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO BREAK ONE OF MY CANDLES FOR IT! YOU DON'T KNOW A GODDAMN THING! D: IT'S FUCKING UNO! IT'S FREE! IT'S FREE!! FUCK!! D: YOU. HAVE. UUUUUNOOOO!!!!! Kranky Kong Kicked My Ass (with Apologies to David Wise and the Estate of Wesley Willis) Last night, I told my nephew Diddy Kong to watch over the Great Banana Horde He was attacked by Kremlings sent by King K. Rool Diddy got his dumb ass beat and stuffed in a barrel with my initials on it They threw that barrel into a bush Old man Kranky Kong stormed into my bedroom screaming at me about all that business And started swinging at my head with his walking stick That old man beat me senseless, I tell ya Straight up whipped my ass Rock over DK Isle Rock on, Gangplank Galleon Funky's Flights Take you where you need to go Kranky Kong kicked my ass Kranky Kong kicked my ass Kranky Kong kicked my ass Kranky Kong kicked my ass Kranky Kong kicked my ass Kranky Kong kicked my ass Kranky Kong just kicked my ass Kranky Kong kicked my ass Kranky Kong just kicked my ass Interview with a Dweller: That's how DoD feels every month (ENG) Interviewer: What would you say that you are getting out of DoD, at a personal level? Dweller: Fulfillment, artistically. From feeling like I’m not being short-changed in anyone’s opinions. I feel like there’s a lot of truth in DoD, like, there’s a lot of positivity and we gas each other up, but there is honest feedback. I wanna truly know what someone thinks, like a lot of people, right? I have my insecurities. There’s times where I think: I’m really good at what I’m doing. And times where I really question it, and wonder why did my collaborators even want to work with me. Like, I’m not as good as so and so. But DoD has really shown me the value in my own work. I’m not new to this, but I can always learn more. And what really took that, was looking back through the rankings of people that I think are some of the best musicians I’ve ever heard getting really low rankings. It takes seeing, like, your Jake Kaufmans and your Dan Behrens not getting number one, to realize like, everyone’s been there. DoD just has really just helped me feel secure in my musicianship, in my decisions… I feel like I’m getting good honest feedback from people who “get the mission”. And again it goes back to taking the song out of the context of the rankings, right? And that’s why I don’t get hung up on them a lot of times, is because I know that it has a life outside of it. And sometimes we get really tied up in how good we like a track we’re doing and we wanna see it. We try not to say this, but we’re like “no, this could be top ten”. And it was, it was a top ten! You don’t know until you’re in the listening party, and then you hear songs and you go “of fuck… THIS song is number one”. But that’s also exiting, cause it’s like, ok if I feel that good about my song, that also just shows how special it is to have sometimes thirty to fifty songs of quality every month. Again it’s like back in the glory days of YouTube when you’d find like: “here’s a progressive rock band from Chile, that no one’s heard of from 1978. And here’s their one private pressed album, and it’s greatest thing you’ve ever heard. And you can only find it on Discogs for four hundred dollars”, right? That’s how DoD feels every month.